Is it moral to use birth control in certain situations? This involves situational ethics which people may or may not believe in. But as for me and my wife, we married two years ago and we used NFP. I deployed for a year to Iraq and when I got back, we used NFP for a month and then she got pregnant. We now have a beautiful daughter, and even though she was unexpected initially, she has been such a wonderful joy in our lives.

However, in a month, I deploy again to Iraq--up to 15 months this go around. We like the idea of using NFP for the remaining month, but my wife doesn't feel confident that she can determine whether or not she is fertile only 7 weeks after giving birth. I also believe that it would be wholly irresponsible for us to conceive another child--physically, emotionally, and financially. First of all, her body needs time to heal and recover, and second, I'll be gone for such a long time and she can't do it alone, especially with an infant to take care of.

We believe that in our situation, it is a better decision to use birth control. What are your opinions on the situation, and does anyone have any similar experiences?

If you were taught by a Couple-to-Couple League (CCL) couple, explain to them your situation and request their assistance in detecting any early return of fertility. If you were taught another method, ask your teacher also. I merely call out CCL because their policy is that if you're still a CCL member, then ask your teaching couple or CCL Central any questions at any time.

I concur with lpioch. I entered the Church not so very long ago and to this day my faith rests safely upon the Sacraments of Matrimony and Reconciliation (each of course providing sustenance along the way towards Eucharist). And the graces my wife and I have received by practicing and teaching NFP simply cannot be described in the small space available here. It is no exaggeration, however, to say that matrimonial chastity as practiced through the discipline of NFP, has saved my life because, sans NFP, I would probably not still be a practicing Catholic today.

And in the most difficult situations (i.e. total abstinence) pray to St. Joseph together with your wife. He's been through it (not for nothing did Our Lady remain virgin after marriage and childbirth as well) and will no doubt come swiftly to your assistance if only you will ask.

grisggy,

My wife and I teach CCL NFP.

Just a reminder: NFP is birth control.  But, NFP is not contraception.  NFP, when used properly is 99% effective.  Same goes for most Contraceptive items: Pill, Implant, ... but not the condom - the condom is less effective.

Also, while you are home please get involved in the NFP tracking and interpretting.  You, as the husband, should at a minimum take responsability for taking your wife's temperature at the same time every morning.  You should also learn to interpret the NFP data so that the decision is equally yours.  That way it is not just "my wife doesn't feel confident that she can determine whether or not she is fertile."  You both should determine and both make the decision about fertility.  That way it is not just her neck on the line, but yours as well.

Please let us know what system of NFP you use, how you learned it and when you learned it.  That will help us understand where the efficacy problem may have come in.  It will also help us help you quickly plug up the confidence/accuracy issues.  But, as Ipoch said 100% nursing of a baby (no supplements at all) should provide you with a non-fertile period.  But, the nursing must be 100% or fertility will come back quicker.  If she is bottle feeding or even supplementing breastfeeding with bottle feeding ... you should consider yourself in phase I - waiting for your fertility to return.  Unless the fertility signs have returned already and then you must rely on NFP rules to determine where you are.

Happy to help.  And we will pray for you and your wife during this time.

God bless you!

GK - God is good!

Though it might "seem" like a sensible thing to do, contraception turns the act of marriage from an act of love into an act of usage.  What I mean is that you are saying to each other, "I want to use your body for my own pleasure, without any consequences" in the same way that you might need to use the toilet and then flush.  Not good.

The devil looks for many ways to tempt us into thinking that something that will harm our souls is really good for us.  Don't be mislead.

 I will pray for you.