Oh, and risking a bit of a sexist remark -- Dads are KEY. Moms can do a lot to form their children, but a dad that is lukewarm will undo more. So, how do dads get over the uncomforatable notion that talking about faith is a "girl" thing? What draws a lukewarm man into a deeper love of the Church? (I'm counting on you guys, because there are a good number of you who do love the Church and are not afraid to say so -- God bless you and your families.)

"The Catholic Church frames the Christian life as one in which you must exercise virtue—not because virtue saves you, but because that's the way God's grace gets manifested." Dr. Francis J. Beckwith

Warren my mind is already working on what to submit.  I feel rather proud that my two sons (ages 20 and 16) enjoy attending Mass and feel 'empty' when they don't attend which is very rare.  As a family we all feel that attendance at Mass ends a week we say thanks for and a new week begins at Mass which we ask for guidance for.  Celebrating Mass together as a family is very important to us.  But, the weak point is that I can't always get my sons to follow along with the readings.  I know they listen to the readings because they will ask questions about it later that day or at some other time.  And the strange part about this is that they both read the Bible on their own.  IN fact my youngest carries one to school with him to read there during free time.  Oh yeah and he attends a public school too.

WIP, I agree that Dad is key.  Not being sexist but I was taught by my wonderful Dad that all families need an authoritative figure and that should be Dad.  As a dad I know that my sons and god-children learn a lot form me by following my example.  In our house my wife is the "vocal" teacher and I'm the "silent" one.  But don't get me wrong here, my wife of 30 years is the real strength that supports me.

I'm looking forward to see how this develops.  Hopefully I will be able to contribute in some small way.

Tarheel

Mass as a pivot point?  I sometimes like to think of it as a springboard to charge me up for the upcoming week.  We (my family) all have sensed that if we do not attend Mass the following week just doesn't seem to be whole.  Something is not quite right.  It's kind of like having a beef stew but with no beef. 

And we all use the Mass to bring the week we just experienced to a positive close.  It always is good to end the week on high note so what can be better that celebrating Mass?  I like to think of life as a circle.  And the starting point for this 'circle' is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  So it only makes sense (to me anyway) that I end my week with prayers of thanks at the beginning of Mass.

I am by no means the world's strongest person when it comes to faith or other matters.  So I struggle throughout the week just to get through each day trying to live my life as a good Christian.  So by the time Sunday or the first Saturday of each month comes around, my batteries need to be re-charged.  The liturgy up to the reading of the Gospel always puts me at peace and gets my heart and soul ready to receive God.  And always and I mean always when I cross myself at the beginning of the reading of the Gospel, I get a tingling feeling all over.  When the homily, the Our Father, Eucharist, and are complete my batteries are charged.  I'm ready to go.  I can face anything, because I know Jesus has "cleared a path" for me and he will pick me up if I stumble along the way.  He will heal my "scrapes and cuts" that my spirit may suffer during the week.

And I have spoken about this feeling I get from attending Mass to my wife and sons.  They all feel the same way.  Not because they were taught to feel this way by me or their mother in the case of my sons but, because they have described their Mass experience in much the same way.  In fact my wife says she has always felt that way and she is a cradle Catholic.  Me, I'm just the very lucky cradle Southern Baptist that was introduced to the Church by close USAF friends and later by my wonderful wife of 30 years.

The very first time I attended Mass (years before I was converted) I left there with a wonderful feeling.  Fulfillment is one word I use to describe Mass.  Respect is another. And most definitely recharged.  And by relating to others, especially our children, how we feel at Mass and how we feel afterward will help them to learn and love the celebration of Mass and the Holy Eucharist.  Discussing the homily after mass is a wonderful stepping off point to talk about how Christ is the starting and stopping point for everything in our lives.  As parents (and god-parents)  we need to be very vocal about all things Catholic.  And as a side benefit I have learned that by speaking freely and openly to my sons about experiences at Mass, homily topics, and the scriptures they are more at ease in talking to me about nearly everything that affects their day-to-day life.  And also my sons are very proud to say they are Catholic (remember we live in the deep south where the KKK or Klu Klux Klan attacks Catholics).  Years ago I heard my youngest son (he was 14 at the time) respond to questions from a very pretty young lady.  She asked "Are you saved? Are you a Christian?"  his response "Of course I'm Catholic aren't you?"  The obviously was not the answer the young lady was expecting.  Her 'teachers' at the one of the local protestant churches did not prepare her for this.

I know it seems as if I'm getting off point about the Mass being a pivot point for week to the next.  But I feel that because my wife and I have openly talked about our personal feelings about Mass and teaching them about the Mass (teaching the 'why' along with the 'what') has developed them into young men that appreciate and love Mass.  ANd that mass attendance is necessary for life.

And again my only "sticking point" with my sons at Mass is getting them to follow along with the readings.

Tarheel

Okay here is something I have come up with.  Hope I'm not too far off topic.

As parents it is difficult to get our children to read at all. Getting to read Scripture is even more difficult.  But it can be done.  But this can only be accomplished if parents read the scripture.  And more than just at Mass.  Parents must show, by example that Scripture reading is as natural (and necessary) as reading the daily paper.  If a husband and wife can discuss a news article then why not a Scripture passage?  And encourage the children to participate in these discussions.  In fact why not focus the discussions around a passage their child reads?  Children need to be taught that our Holy Scriptures are more than words on a page and pages in a book.  Holy Scriptures provide so much more than that.  They provide us with guidance, words of advice, historical events, and rules to live our lives by.  Of course my short list is not all inclusive.  A good way to start is to read your child when they are small bedtime stories from the Bible.  Sure you can use a bedtime story book with stories from the Bible but then children relate the story to a bedtime story book and not the Bible.  So read to them from the Bible.  Let them see it.  Let them touch it.  Allow them to understand that the wonderful bedtime story they just heard was from the greatest book or books ever written, The Holy Bible.  Then explain to them that this is the very same book (s) that our Sunday readings at Mass are taken from.

Sound easy?  Nope sorry it won’t be.  First Mom and Dad you will yourself need to be familiar with the Bible.  I can hear some of you now questioning my method.  And I understand how you feel.  I really didn’t understand this is what I needed to do until my sons were much older.  So I kind of failed here also.  But, I came to this realization several years ago when I started teaching CCD that nearly all of my students (9th grade including my oldest son) knew next to nothing about the Bible.  And teaching 14 and 15 year olds about reading Bible was a chore.  It was only after I showed them where in the Bible that our liturgy readings came from that they could relate to the Bible.  I later found out that many of them didn’t even have a Bible in their home.

So here is how I feel we can develop Bible reading, mass attending youth.

1. Mom and Dad, get a Bible in the home if you don’t already have one.
2. Keep the Bible in prominent place where your children can see it. 
3. Read bedtime stories to your children from the Bible and let them see and know that it is from the Bible.
4. If your children are too old for bedtime stories then have an open discussion about a particular passage.  Here would be a good time to “sneak” in a reading from the upcoming Mass.
5. As a family event, have your child read something from the Bible.  Choose something for them or as they get older let them choose their own passage.
6. Buy a Bible for your child.  Some of the Catholic Youth Bibles are great.  For teens look into the Fireside edition.
7. Start discussions about homily topics or one of the readings at Mass.
8. Dads lead by example.  Your children need to see you read from the Bible.  Even if you are just doing self-study.
9. Moms support your husband by explaining to you children that Dad is reading from the Bible to be a better husband and father.
10. Ok Mom now you need to have your children see you read the Bible. 
11. Dads it is now your turn to explain to your children that Mom reads the Bible to be a better wife and mother.
12. And explain that by reading the Bible makes us a stronger and better family.
13. Attend Mass as a family.  And participate as a family.
14. Mom and Dad relate to each other how attending mass makes you feel.  Allow your children to listen in on these discussions.  And encourage them to express their feelings about the Mass and Eucharist. 

By all means avoid these pitfalls.

1. I attended mass so I fulfilled my Sunday obligation.  Are you sure?
2. I don’t need a Bible, all the Scripture I need to read is in the Missalette.  Again are you sure?
3. “Okay kids after Communion just walk on out of the Church so we can beat the crowds to go eat.”
4. I’m a good parent I take my kids to Mass and make sure they attend Sunday School.  (I guess Mass participation is too much to ask for?) (And for all that religion material that is why we have CCD teachers that is their job to teach my children that not me.)

I still got an idea or two rattling around in my noggin.  Perhaps when I driving to Destin Florida today for work I can sort these ideas out in my head.  And then after our Novena service tonight with my Fil-Am group I can add some more.

Here's another topic we can work on later.  "Confession-Reconciliation-Penance" "Restoring yourself in God's Grace. It ain't just for old folks!"

Tarheel

As to reading scripture at home--

We have seven kids.  Sunday evenings include putting the "littles" to bed and the "bigs" stay up and read scripture aloud with mom and dad.  The bigs are 11, 13, 15.  We take turns reading aloud to each other.  We are following a "read the bible in a year" schedule which gives daily text readings from OT, Psalms and NT.  There is also a CCC section recommended. 

Sometimes we miss a Sunday--sometimes more than one. It has already been a year since we started and we are only 1/3 of the way through.   But we always know "where we are" when we return.  We each have our own dog-eared, thumbed through bible and our own highlighter.  Some highlight more than others.  And we TALK--boy do we talk!  Even with all the repitition of Leviticus---"It must be important if God is telling us 27 times!"  The NT is found in the old.....and WE HAVE FOUND IT!  More than once one of the kids will say, "Hey, that's kinda like the Eucharist." "Wow, confession way back then!"......

And to be sure.....the 8 year old CAN'T WAIT to be a "big" and stay up and read with us......

And a funny thing is......we have had both a nun and a priest tell us that we shouldn't use the schedule we are using....."Don't waste your time on those OT books---go straight to the gospels!" 

Well, we DO go to the gospels and NT each reading but the reading of the OT has been a real eye-opener for us all.  My husband and I have learned so much.  Our discussions with the kids have been so inspired!

God is Good.  All we have to give is a willing heart and He provided the venue for us.  As for the willingness of the kids---it is because my husband and I are willing to sit with them (sometimes lay on the floor!) that they respond so positively.

And to ditto your comments Pristinus, we don't have cable or satellite.  We do have a tv and four very fuzzy channels.  Sporting events such as NFL and MLB are about the only things allowed--and then not very often.  So we do not have to compete with the TV/computer for our kid's attention.  Kids really do want to be with their parents but the TV/computer/video games are like addictive drugs.  Think of a drug/alcohol addict---they need it to "survive" each day.  Wean the kids off the electronics and you will get them back.

Jesus, I Trust in You!

Not sure I want to "step" into the editor role just yet.  I want to see where this "thread" takes us.

I really like what you are doing 'on a journey'.  Sure wish my family was that disciplined.  Our discussions are more ad hoc than anything else.

'Winslow' I feel your pain about unruly children at Mass.  I guess the 'cry room' was full.  Our two sons were at both ends of the spectrum.  The oldest was always an angel at Mass.  The younger was a 'handful' and at times was even disruptive to the families in the cry room.  He and I spent a lot of time in the parking lot on Sundays.  But he suddenly just started behaving one Sunday when we went to a different parish.

As I drove today as part of my job (over 300 miles) I kept thinking about this topic.  And one thought kept coming to me.  We must remove the "fear" of the Bible that too many Catholics have.  Ok so I have stepped on a few toes here.  Here me out before you start picking up 'stones'.  What I'm referring to is that too many Catholic families don't even own a Bible.  And those that do rarely read it.  This goes back my comment earlier "I don’t need a Bible, all the Scripture I need to read is in the Missalette." I once asked my priest why Bibles weren't used in mass rather than the missalattes.  He said he wished we did use Bibles but the main reason for the Missalettes was that they printed to allow everyone to read the scriptures because some parishioners couldn't afford a Bible.

If this statement is true for that time period is it true now?  Honestly I see very few adults under age 30 even using the missalettte. 

I define "fear" of the Bible because so few people use one.   Or even know how to go get one.  Because if you go into a book store or a Christian book store (we only have one Catholic book store here in Mobile at the Visitation Monastery and they have a very small selection.) you can see shelves of Bibles of all different sizes.  Great!  Okay now go find the Catholic Bibles.  We now have about a shelf to select from.  There will be the very large and beautiful family style.  Beautiful to look at and display but not practical o use.  If we ahd one and my wife saw me to atart making notes in the margins or use a highlighter......ouch?!?!?   Maybe there will be one or two leather bound Bibles (here in Mobile one of these is always a RSV).  But mostly they are paperback versions (I confess that three of my 5 Bibles are paperback that way I don't get in trouble with a pen or highlighter).  They just pale in variety to what is made available to our Protestant brothers and sisters.  Note to Catholic publishers: we need variety of styles to choose from.  I want to show my Bible off to everyone.  My son wants one of those with a metal case so it doesn't get damaged in his backpack when he is at school.  Here is why I'm saying this.  Sometime back I asked the manager at my local Barnes and Noble about the small selection of Catholic Bibles.  He said that he sells 10 times as many Protestant versions as he does Catholic.  And the biggest sellers aren't the typical styles but what he called "gimmick" bibles.  The ones with the metal case, the Armed Forces versions, and even one that was covered in duct tape. 

Sorry I drifted off the point I was making about 'fear'.  As part of adult catechesis we need to eliminate this 'fear'.  And we can do this through education of our children and the young adults in our parishes.  We need to get our priests to give homilies about reading scripture.  Bible study groups are a great way to educate.  And not just a Bible study group or cousrse about a certain book, but how about a general Bible Study class to educate people on how to use one and find passages in it.  And we need to add Bible reading to our Sunday Schools.  I have been teaching CCD 7 years now and the texts we have been using for the last 3 years do not have students read from the Bible.  Well unless you are in my class.  I have a game where we play find the scripture, read it and win a prize game.  Trust me, 80% of my students will ask "What is an Old Testament?"

My fear is that if we don't eliminate this 'fear' then we, and I mean all of us, are giving validity to the lie many Protestants tell about Catholics.  "Bibles are not allowed in a Catholic Church and it's members are forbidden to own one."

Tarheel

Perhaps 'fear' was not the best choice but, why are there so many Catholics not reading the scriptures?  I didn't get this from any Protestant minister this comes from what I see.  Recently I was talking to one of the parents of a student of mine.  The student had mentioned to her parents that I had said we all need to read the Bible.  I confirmed that I had said that because I felt that we all need to read the Bible.  The mother said she was embarrassed when her daughter asked about this because they didn't have a Bible in the home.  But she said that they were going to get one very soon and asked me which one I would recommend.  I recommended the NAB as it is what our readings come from.  And yes they have purchased a Bible and from what I can tell from my student they read it.

When I said "fear" it was not intended to indicate Catholics are terrified of the Bible. I know we are not.  Fear in this context relates to not using a Bible on a regular basis and not being knowledgeable about it.  I'm not claiming to be the most knowledgeable person about the Bible.  Far from it.  I learn something new myself each and every time I pick it up.  Sometimes I will read the same passage in two different translations to get a better understanding.  The two translations I use mostly are NAB and the New Jerusalem Bible.

Don't get me wrong about missalettes.  For years that is what I relied on until I bought my own missal a little over two years ago.  And I do know that missalettes were printed so everyone could follow along.  I learned that when I was going through RCIA.

Forgive me if some words I use are not the best selection?  My daily writing (for work) is very technical in nature.  It is hard for me to transition sometimes from talking about circuit cards, CDMA optimization, WAP, WiFi, wireless phone operating parameters, and wireless network operational procedures.   Honestly I read these forums for over a year before I ever developed enough courage to participate.  And each time I do I feel embarrassed that my inability to communicate other than technically will either not get my intended message across or offend someone. 

If I have offended you in anyway, please accept my apology as it was not my intent.

Tarheel (Dave)

Helping someone is the main reason I want to participate.  And when you started this particular forum I became excited.  I have always had a deep love for the scriptures although there was a very 'dark period' in my life where ignored them.  But in the last 10 years or so I have rediscovered this 'true love' and I want others to discover this also. 

Just let me know where I can help the most.

Tarheel (Dave)

A Gospel reading is read each day at Mass.  In addition, there is another reading and a psalm.  On Sunday and Holy Days, there are two readings and a psalm.  For argument's sake, let's say there are 10 Holy Days.  With Sundays, that makes 62 days of 2 readings and a psalm.  That's 124 readings and 62 psalms.  There are three cycles of readings.  That makes 372 readings and 186 psalms every three years.  That's just Sundays and Holy Days.  The rest of the year adds up to another 909 readings and 303 psalms.  The total of psalms and readings is 1398.  Add in the Gospel readings and it comes to 1701.  Every 3 years.  A 65 year old Catholic who's gone to Mass all his life knows them by heart.  Who says we don't 'read' the Bible? 

Admittedly we are seriously lacking in our *study* of the Bible, but that's changing.  We have 2 Bible study classes in our parish.  I attend one of them.  I read the Bible at home once in a while, but you have inspired me to make it a daily habit.  Like chicken soup, it couldn't hurt.  We didn't revere the Bible the way protestants do because we know we are not its interpreters, but that was always a lame excuse.  There's no excuse now and Catholics are definitely reading the Bible lately and that's a good thing.  It's a really interesting book.

Peace