As a new father of my first child I thought I'd seek advice / insight from some of those who are more advanced in that journey then I.

Specifically a post by wip got me thinking.  How is it that there seems to be many catholics who live good lives, yet their children abandon the faith. 

I know if my daughter abandons the faith I will feel I have somehow failed to teach her.  Not that a parent can be held fully responsible for the decisions of their adult children , but specifically if you have children who did leave the faith after being raised catholic, what if any mistakes do you feel you made.

What do you wish you could have done differently.  Hoping to learn from the experience of others here to avoid mistakes if I can. 

He *asks* to go to confession?!  Wow!  Sounds like you got someone special there!

Fishman, congratulations on your new daughter.  You're already being a good father to her by the concerns you express.  I have 2 daughters, 31 and 29.  Neither has left the Faith, they still go to Mass every Sunday, but maybe I can offer a few suggestions.  The first has to do with being a parent generally.

Your daughter will sooner do what you (and your wife) do than what you tell her to do.  You are the first and most important teacher of your children.  How you approach your faith will have a distinct effect on how they approach theirs.  If you dress up on Sunday morning they'll come to understand, on their own, that Mass is something special unrelated to a trip to the mall or the playground.  (There's one father of a young by in our parish who comes to Mass in a rocker t-shirt with a death's head on it.  The guy hasn't got a clue.)  If you avoid idle chatter in church, they'll come to realize church is a special place which requires its own special behavior.  If they see their parents devout in their prayers, they will emulate them.  It isn't that complicated.

Television is an incredibly powerful, negative influence on children, as are, I'm sorry to say, public schools.  There's no way to avoid them, but I think it's wise to constantly be aware of what that influence is and, where it's morally degrading, guard against it and oppose it actively.

When they are young, talk to your children as if they are intelligent people.  Not as adults, necessarily, but as people on their way to being adults.  They'll learn to speak sooner, have a broader vocabulary sooner and will be easier to educate. 

Don't be afraid to discipline them when it's necessary; and it will, from time to time, be necessary.  They need to know there is are bosses in the house and the bosses are you and their mother. 

Keep a happy, loving home and they will develop the confidence to stand up straight in the world.  This above all; to thine own self be true...    Well, forget that part. 

Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Peace

Hey Fishman. Congrats on being a father!!

Being a parent is the most wonderful responsibility i have ever had in my life. And i am glad that you see that your priority is the soul of your little one, as it should be. 

Before we had suffered my brother moving away from the faith, i would have immediately jumped into your post to reply that maybe the parents did not guide the child properly in the faith. However, i know better. because my brother, myself and little sister were raised by a very wonderful mother. My mother to this day attends daily mass. And she travels a lot! But always ensures that she searches ahead of time for a church. We prayed the rosary daily and she recounted stories of saints to us. Things started taking a left turn when we separated from our parents and moved to become independent adults.

I strayed, not from the faith, but in my practices. As did my brother. But for some reason, i went through a great conversion, this time falling in love with Our Lord, rather than just going to church because mum said so. It became going to church and participating at mass with all my heart. 

What am i getting at? The temptation bombarding us daily is relentless. Satan wants to win. And unfortunately, my brother's weakness is that he wants so much knowledge. And i can see now that all that acquisition of whatever knowledge he was seeking has only resulted in him being proud and arrogant, ready and willing to challenge all. Even God. This can happen to anyone. When you don't feed your soul and spiritual life, you compensate in earthly perishables.

It is truly sad and heartbreaking. However, when his friend died recently, he confessed that all he could think of doing was saying a prayer. SEE!!

My mother did instill that seed. And that's all we can do as parents. Keep teaching by example and keep praying for our children. Never compromising God's truth to seek societal approval. God's grace will prevail for them. There is no easy fix. The best thing i can say is that seek to have as open a relationship with your child as you can. And teach them humility and service for others. And finally, instill in your child the sense of them living their life through God's eyes. So that at the end of the day, when they stray or attempt to do so, this little lesson will resonate somewhere inside and they will seek out our Lord again. Also Pray as a family. 

God Bless